So, it’s J’s birthday in a couple of weeks and I had been stumped on what to get him for his birthday.
I was going to take us to Rome for the weekend. Kind of a joint Christmas/birthday present for him and a nice weekend break for ‘us’.
It’s probably been quite obvious that we haven’t, at some points during 2009, been getting on so great. Mostly to do with Miss Thing kicking my rational conscience out and taking up residence. She’s been here too long and I’m working on the eviction notice as we speak.
But atlas, like another kick in my arse, Rome was not to be 
Instead he was spoiled at christmas what with lots of man gadgets (xBox Live subscription, aftershave, games) and a new computer monitor. Why the man needs to two in order to function in polite society is quite beyond me. But hey, what do I know, I can’t even turn the bloody xBox on without one-on-one tuition from Keira!
Instead I opted to organise a nice meal and thought as his family live nearly 2 hours away, I’d invite them up.
Now, it was going to be a surprise. The kind of situation where we walk into the restaurant and he finds everyone waiting for him and feels the love wrap him like his favourite winter coat.
But let’s be honest people, who in their right mind would drive 2 hours for dinner?
That’s right. No one.
(I’d like to point out right about now that I had told his mum etc they could stay over. Of course. I’m not a total bitch)
Then I thought about removing the surprise, inviting everyone up and going out anyway. But that doesn’t have a wow factor to it.
Why does it need a wow factor?
Because my boyfriend is a geek. A major geek (hot though. Very hot).
The only thing he wants for his birthday is some all action, all knowing remote control that can allegedly control every piece of entertainment equipment we have: the telly, the CD player, the xBox, the Media Centre (don’t ask, I just about know how to turn the bloody thing on).
And I am NOT buying it. I refuse.
There is nothing sexy about buying a bloody remote control and I don’t think we’re anywhere near that stage in our relationship. Yet.
So I chat to his mum about who is all ‘OK, well, let me have a think about it, let me see what we’re doing’.
Oh no. She’s going to say no and then I’ll have to buy the remote control so that he gets excited. Well, it’s that or super sexy underwear to entice him with and given that I’m having a ‘fat month’ thats even less likely than me winning the lottery.
Then on NYE she called me. Here’s how the conversation went:
Mum2: Hello Darling
Me: Hello. How are you?
Mum2: Good thank you. Tired after christmas though.
Me: Yeah, christmas was lovely. Same time next year?!
Mum2: Absolutely – you can cook though.
Me: hahaha
I walk to the top of the landing and call J and tell him his mums on the phone. He immediately comes upstairs, removes the phone from my hand and starts to chat.
J: Hi Mum. How are you.
I glare at him whilst he makes polite chit chat.
Rude sod. I was actually talking still……..
some silence here whilst J just nods….
J: Oh. OK. It’s for you.
He hands me back the phone.
Mum2: So, do you still want to take J out for dinner.
Me: Absolutely. Can you guys make it
I’m acutely aware at this point that J is hovering around, obvious that something is being planned so I gently shove usher him out of the room.
Mum2: Would you like to take him to dinner in Paris?
Stunned silence at my end.
Mum2: Hello?
Me: Yup, still here. I’m sorry, did you say Paris?
Mum2: Yes.
Me: Er…. Um, really? How… I don’t get it.
Mum2: Well, I was thinking that for both of your birthdays we would pay for you to get the Eurostar to Paris with a two night stay. You just need spending money. Like I say, it’ll be a joint birthday present.
Me: Well, that’s very nice but, um, I’d need to talk to our works to see if we can get the time off.
Mum2: OK Darling, well you do that and let me know. I’ve got the full itinerary here. Call me and let me know.
Me: OK. Chat soon.
We both hang up.
In pops Miss Thing with her two pence worth:
hahahahahahaha, pissed on your fire from a great height didn’t she. There you were with your romantic gesture when in trumps Ma with a bigger and better gift. Thrown a real spanner in the works didn’t it? Hmmm, hmmm??? Silly cow – thinking you could do well with this one.
I took a deep breath and listened calmly to the other voice that said:
What a lovely thing to do. She didn’t have to go out of her way, to research a weekend break for us, to have time to ourselves for both our birthdays so soon after having Christmas. This is just what we need.
Miss Things stomped out, hands on hips wiggling her arse as if she were chewing gum with it.
So there we have it. A weekend for us, in Paris. I can’t wait. I’ve never been to Paris.
The culture, the architecture, the Eiffel Tower.
And the cuisine. Let’s not forget the cuisine.
Oooh, so much to see and do. I uber excited.
I’m not eating frogs legs though.
That’s just gross.
