a change is coming

I made a pact that I was going to lose weight in 2010 and the reality is there is far too much for me to suffer document on this blog.

So I’m going to use Miss Cherry Red for the sole purpose she was birthed for: to share with you the ups and downs of love, life, motherhood and everything in between.

Except for my diet.   That’s a war I’m waging that requires it’s very own battlefield.

Come with me on my quest to rid me of my muffin top and lose 3 stone!  There’ll be photos too.

Or you could just read my stories and laugh at my suffering.

Whatever makes you happy.

I’m all about making you happy.

Honest.

Come on over: cakeisnotmyfriend.wordpress.com

mwah x

October’s attempt – meh.

Monday, October 12th 2009  :  After a crappy and hugely emotional couple of weeks I am re-dedicating myself for my quest to thin-dom. I stood and looked at myself (albeit briefly) in the bathroom mirror yesterday and I feel like someone stole my body while I was asleep and replaced it with something, well, something quite horrific!   I mean, I’ve always had a bit of a tummy and I’ve kind of come to terms with it.  I even accepted that it was a little rounder after I’d had my daughter but now, now it’s just ridiculous! I’ve started to buy ‘structured underwear’ – you know the kind that hold you in and (cue the sales pitch) smooth your silhouette!

What happened?

Lazy – that’s what happened.

My ass got lazy! Not any more – I’ve booked myself into a spinning class on Saturday (God help me) and I’ve banished any money from purse so as not to be tempted by the dreaded chocolate box at work. The christmas party season is rapidly approaching and I WILL get into that slinky dress goddamnit. I will…..

Monday, October 12th 2009. 14:46  :  So, lunch has been and gone.  Chicken Caeser salad adorned my plate this afternoon and if I’m to believe my fat-club bible, the contents of the plate are consider ‘super free foods’. Salad: Good. Caeser dressing: Sin (but such a good one). Chicken: Good. Apparantly on a red food type day I can eat as much chicken as I want and not feel bad about it. In fact, my fat club bible says that I could buy a whole pre-cooked chicken and eat it till I left only the bones and it still wouldn’t be a bad thing. Not sure my stomache would agree with that. Crisps consumed: None. Chocolate consumed: None, Sweets consumed: None

Monday, October 12th 2009. 18:06  :  My nan made stew. From scratch. And if there is one thing that my gran does really well, it’s stew. The tenderest lamb, potatoes, dumplings, vegetable and just a hint of oxtail soup. It’s divine.  It’s also very bad for me. She leaves the fat on the lamb because she says it adds to the flavour. She neglected to mention that it also adds to my waist. But it’s sooooo good. You know how chicken soup makes you feel when you’re poorly, or mulled wine makes you feel at christmas: all warm and fuzzy on the inside. That’s how I feel with stew. It would’ve been rude not to have some surely? Upsetting my nan is the last thing I want to do. Just a small bowl perhaps????

Monday, October 12th 2009. 20:00  :  Consumed more than I should have. Damn it. Will try harder tomorrow. And call my nan and tell her no more stew for me till next year! But at least I feel all warm inside

Tuesday, October 13th 2009. 13:12  :  J got up at 6:30am. Six-goddamn-thirty. Do you know dark it still is at that time of the morning? And for what? A cuddle? No. To go for a run. I should do that you know. Run and stuff. I trained for the Race For Life earlier this year. Nearly killed me too. OK, slight exaggeration. But I did fall and sprain my ankle. Flaming thing ballooned to the size of a small football. Bloody hurt. 8 weeks to recover and was forced to wear flip flops with a dress to a wedding. I can’t risk running again so soon to the christmas party season surely????

Wednesday, October 14th 2009. 13:07  :  Some inconsiderate ass at work is eating waffles. Sweet smelling waffles with a maple sauce. They smell so good. I had a cheese sandwich for lunch and feel completely unsatisfied. On a lighter note, I do have a fat club ‘assessment’ on October 24th. Saturday. I have exactly two weeks to lose a stone and continue giving the impression that I’ve been good since forever!

Thursday, October 15th 2009. 10:52  :  Winter spicy parsnip soup and bread for my tea. Very yummy indeed. Felt very good about myself Can not, however, have the same feeling this morning since I opened my desk buddies caramel digestive biscuits. Purely to enjoy with my cuppa…. Bad times

Friday, October 16th 2009. 14:42  :  I suck. My lunch consisted of chicken and chorizo parcels with a bag of white chocolate covered raisings to finsih. Fuck. Double fuck. Off to my mother in laws tomorrow. Fingers crossed I’ll do better there. She’ll have wine though. Damn it. Epic fail

pah – I didn’t want the dress anyway

The dress sucked.

Which one?  The one in my ‘object of my affection’ post.

I mean, Keira didn’t like it anyway.  I believe the term she used to describe it was ‘eugh’.

Great – I’m taking fashion advice from a 3 year old whose favourite item of clothing is a bright pink lazy town track suit.

But fear not!  I found a newer, prettier and all round lovelier dress to wear to my works christmas party.

<drum roll please>

TA-DA – Oh and the chick in the dress – not me - model from the catalogue!

Ooooh, pretty

I can hear you gasp in adoration!

It’s so pretty on too.  Makes my boobs look fabulous and covers all the lumps and bumps that Keira is solely responsible for that I inherited as part of motherhood.  You know, wobbly bits.

The glamorous shoes are sorted too.  Not that I can walk in them – but who cares?  It’s a sit down meal with a disco at the end so I’ll be sat for most of it and there’ll be a constant flow of rosé so I’ll probably discard my shoes in favour of being able to stand upright!

3 inch heels + rosé = walking disaster!

Round: It’s a shape, right?

Rounds a shape....

Epic fail.

I am crap.  It’s official.

Well, not fully crap, but crap nonetheless. 

I’ve been treating the work chocolate boxlike it’s the plague so I’ve been good on that front, but one of the guys at work came into a large sum of money today – some compensation payment for an accident he had when he was 11 – and he’s treated THE ENTIRE office to KFC.

It smelt so good – The Colonels special recipe filled the office.  Drew me in, I was powerless.

I know it was bad.   There is nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already said to myself. 

Rounds a shape right?

 

No pain, no gain….

Woo hoo! 

Circuit training booked for 6:30pm tonight and I’ve booked myself into a spin class on Saturday morning!

Get ready to welcome me home with open arms thin-dom

xx